This is one of those stories that if you are a parent, you will think is funny. If you are not, you will probably be disgusted. Only read on if you have a sense of humor and are not terribly squeemish.
On Saturday, after I woke up late from fighting the fires on seaborg (I got home about 3 AM), I worked on helping my wife with her paper. Then I went off to take a shower. While I was in the shower, my wife made our daughter popcorn.
Y'see my daughter loves popcorn. More than candy. More than ice cream. More than chocolate (little heathen). If she sees the box of popcorn, she goes a bit nuts begging and whining and screaming to get it. We don't give in when she does that, but tell her 'no' and distract her with something else. We normally give her popcorn when she's been a good girl only. Anyways, my wife made her popcorn and then made a small mistake. It's never been a problem before. It was this time!
She left the bag from the microwave - after making sure that it was cool enough - with our daughter and came to chat with me as I got out of the shower. I was mostly dressed when Avrora came over and pointed at her nose saying that something was wrong. It was very, very apparent very quick. There was a lot of slimy, nasty mucus dripping from one nostril and it looked bloated. I bent over to clean her nose and look closer when I saw there was a popcorn kernel in there! Not just one, but at least two or more!
I got angry, but should not have. I was able to use my fingers to get two of them out, but there were more and she was screaming (it hurt, getting them out did). We decided to go straight to the hospital. Lyuda couldn't get any more out either and we didn't know how big of a problem we were facing. We raced off in Lyuda's car while I was driving. The hospital is about 7 miles away. Lyuda asked if she could try sucking the kernels out. I tld her to go for it, but I wasn't sure. We pulled over about 1/3 of the way there and Lyuda climbed in the back seat. As we zipped along, Lyuda latched herself onto Avrora's nose and began to suck. Avrora was definitely not happy and vocally let us know. My daughter has an incredible set of lungs and is probably going to be an oustanding swimmer! At any rate, Lyuda successfully extracted another two kernels from the same nostril! and a WHOLE LOTTA SNOT. A few mouthfuls, or pretty close.
If you know my wife, this is something very difficult for her to have done. I am very proud of her for her conduct during the whole affair. She didn't get upset, or at least not as much as I did. She even did stuff that would have normally gagged her and made her worship the porcelain gods without even a hint of squeamishness.
Well, we made it to the hopsital and trundled into the emergency room. We ended up waiting forever and a day. Then we saw the Dr. He was nice and asked what we'd done. My wife asked if they would have given us any good addvice just by calling into the advice nurses that are more like tech support line for medical issues. He said no that they would have told us to come in. he checked one nostril and her ears and then the suspect nostril. He was impressed that she'd gotten so much in there (her nose isn't THAT big). He looked up...and saw yet ANOTHER kernel in there. He asked what we'd done so far: fingers & sucking on the nose. He then said, "Daddy, it's time for the next step."
My wife held Avrora. The doctor held her head and closed the one nostril that didn't have the kernel in it. I positioned myself and then blew in a strong, quick puff into her mouth. The kernel didn't come out, but lots of mucus did. All over the side of my face. My daughter looked horrified. So, we did it again. And then the kernel riccocheted off the floor. You could even hear it. The doctor did a quick double check and no further kernels and we went to go grocery shopping and then home.
The next morning we were getting ourselves together for the day. Breakfast was made and we were starting the showering, etc...when my daughter walked over with a popcorn kernel in her hand. We immediately began scouring the apartment for any more that might have been missed. We found a couple, but not that many. We checked her nose and nada there.
We were putting her down for a nap when she stood up in her crib and complained at my wife a bit. My wife started to sooth her and clean her nose just a bit...and like a bad epilogue in a bad movie hinting that the good guys really hadn't won and a sequel was forth coming...out fell a popcorn kernel. We went through motions again - fingers, sucking, and blowing - and didn't find a thing.
I dread the future of popcorn at home now. I am also SO glad that our family name is not Nicoll. This would have been even more overly dramatic then.
On Saturday, after I woke up late from fighting the fires on seaborg (I got home about 3 AM), I worked on helping my wife with her paper. Then I went off to take a shower. While I was in the shower, my wife made our daughter popcorn.
Y'see my daughter loves popcorn. More than candy. More than ice cream. More than chocolate (little heathen). If she sees the box of popcorn, she goes a bit nuts begging and whining and screaming to get it. We don't give in when she does that, but tell her 'no' and distract her with something else. We normally give her popcorn when she's been a good girl only. Anyways, my wife made her popcorn and then made a small mistake. It's never been a problem before. It was this time!
She left the bag from the microwave - after making sure that it was cool enough - with our daughter and came to chat with me as I got out of the shower. I was mostly dressed when Avrora came over and pointed at her nose saying that something was wrong. It was very, very apparent very quick. There was a lot of slimy, nasty mucus dripping from one nostril and it looked bloated. I bent over to clean her nose and look closer when I saw there was a popcorn kernel in there! Not just one, but at least two or more!
I got angry, but should not have. I was able to use my fingers to get two of them out, but there were more and she was screaming (it hurt, getting them out did). We decided to go straight to the hospital. Lyuda couldn't get any more out either and we didn't know how big of a problem we were facing. We raced off in Lyuda's car while I was driving. The hospital is about 7 miles away. Lyuda asked if she could try sucking the kernels out. I tld her to go for it, but I wasn't sure. We pulled over about 1/3 of the way there and Lyuda climbed in the back seat. As we zipped along, Lyuda latched herself onto Avrora's nose and began to suck. Avrora was definitely not happy and vocally let us know. My daughter has an incredible set of lungs and is probably going to be an oustanding swimmer! At any rate, Lyuda successfully extracted another two kernels from the same nostril! and a WHOLE LOTTA SNOT. A few mouthfuls, or pretty close.
If you know my wife, this is something very difficult for her to have done. I am very proud of her for her conduct during the whole affair. She didn't get upset, or at least not as much as I did. She even did stuff that would have normally gagged her and made her worship the porcelain gods without even a hint of squeamishness.
Well, we made it to the hopsital and trundled into the emergency room. We ended up waiting forever and a day. Then we saw the Dr. He was nice and asked what we'd done. My wife asked if they would have given us any good addvice just by calling into the advice nurses that are more like tech support line for medical issues. He said no that they would have told us to come in. he checked one nostril and her ears and then the suspect nostril. He was impressed that she'd gotten so much in there (her nose isn't THAT big). He looked up...and saw yet ANOTHER kernel in there. He asked what we'd done so far: fingers & sucking on the nose. He then said, "Daddy, it's time for the next step."
My wife held Avrora. The doctor held her head and closed the one nostril that didn't have the kernel in it. I positioned myself and then blew in a strong, quick puff into her mouth. The kernel didn't come out, but lots of mucus did. All over the side of my face. My daughter looked horrified. So, we did it again. And then the kernel riccocheted off the floor. You could even hear it. The doctor did a quick double check and no further kernels and we went to go grocery shopping and then home.
The next morning we were getting ourselves together for the day. Breakfast was made and we were starting the showering, etc...when my daughter walked over with a popcorn kernel in her hand. We immediately began scouring the apartment for any more that might have been missed. We found a couple, but not that many. We checked her nose and nada there.
We were putting her down for a nap when she stood up in her crib and complained at my wife a bit. My wife started to sooth her and clean her nose just a bit...and like a bad epilogue in a bad movie hinting that the good guys really hadn't won and a sequel was forth coming...out fell a popcorn kernel. We went through motions again - fingers, sucking, and blowing - and didn't find a thing.
I dread the future of popcorn at home now. I am also SO glad that our family name is not Nicoll. This would have been even more overly dramatic then.
2 comments:
Dude, that is so not a kernel panic I was expecting.
I have never, ever had a popcorn kernel stuck up my nose.
It was a frozen pea.
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