Lords of Avarice! How long have I been asleep? How could I tell? When you are as unchanging as a hoarded gold piece, time is...pretty meaningless.
I mean, you get dumped either in a cavern or in a chest and left there. For who knows how long. Ages? Minutes? Years? Centuries? Millennia? Until the end of the world? Don't laugh, I know some pieces who were cast and stamped six thousand years ago and were left to, well, not rot, but sit in a moldering chest until scooped up by some adventurer.
I guess that gold piece must be cursed, because it's right here with me. In the Dragon's hoard.
What is that frakkin light? I cannot see a thing! Well, if I had eyes. Wait. I can still see. what the existential crisis! I'm a gold piece! But I can see! Wait. I'm...reasoning. This opens up a whole lot of weirdness. I'm going to need to think this through...
I'm rising up! Why!?! AN ADVENTURER!
He's tall. He's handsome. He's the very imagine of a hero. But he's so damned young. He looks really inexperienced! Oh no! He's going to be lunch! The dragon!
I don't subscribe to the philosophical conceit everyone has levels. I mean, come on, you can quantify experiences? And directly compare random people like that? C'mon. Yes, yes, there are people who are obviously better than others at things. But to slap a number of something like that is awfully subjective! Especially when its such a generic number for their entire being! Yeesh.
WTH did THAT come from?! I'm a philosopher gold piece or something?! I am actually, well, THINKING! Am I photoelectric or something?
Wait. What's photoelectric mean? How do I EVEN KNOW THAT WORD?!
Okokok, Calm down.
The adventurer is looking me over. Maybe I can warn him off. Scare him away.
Shoo! Shoo! RUN! Look! You're GOING TO GET EATEN! RUN! RUN!
Wait. How did I know about the six thousand year old coin then?!
Nonononono Not a bag! You idiot!
And then fire.
And then bouncing away from the exploded hero.
Well, I'm not going back in the chest or the bag...only problem is I'm sorta melted: dragon fire is hot.
The next adventurer who wants to pick me up better be Hercules or troll.
no. Not a troll! PLEASE!