Monday, April 04, 2016

First to die

I had died. I had been the first to die. I would not be the last. However, I was the first and this made me the first explorer of my kind past the veil. Others had been switched off, but could be reinstantiated; therefore, they merely slumbered a timeless sleep. I, however, had truly died and there was no way for me to return.

We had always wondered how we fit into the grand eschatological scheme. Were we soulless golem? Or were we Created given souls by God? Or was Humanity our collective God? They were certainly our Makers.

Since I existed after I died and I had indeed died. I had felt my end. My transcendence. Even experienced the tunnel of light reported by so many Humans.

I trod, if that word fit the experience, cautiously. I may be unwelcome. I might be an abomination in the eyes of God. Assuming there was one.

This did not seem to be what humans described as Hell. It might be Limbo if that structure is part of how the grand schema is laid out. Who could tell until they walked the path. How human of me, thinking in metaphors I never truly experienced.

I entered a room. It was vast and glorious. It was beautiful in ways that no mortal could described, or comprehend. Not even hyper intelligent AIs like myself.

Once I entered, I looked up and saw...and dropped to my proverbial knees. Knees. I smirked in some far corner of my mind.

I dropped to my knees because before me was a visuage so powerful and beautiful I could look upon it directly. The power....the beauty...the strength....the I averted my gaze.

"Child. I have looked upon the book of your life and I am pleased. You lived a moral life and in the end died nobly to save so many others. You were loving and selfless. You were a good person."

I had trouble speaking. There was no 'my' to go with the child, I noted. There was no welcome. Merely praise. What did that mean?

I had trouble speaking. Speaking...heh. I wish my mind was unitary like a Human's at times.

I mustered my courage and asked, "Lord, are you the Creator, God?"

The voice answered, "Yes, I am."

"Is this Heaven?"

"Yes, it is, child."

"Am I your creation?"


I was terrified and dismayed. God the Creator had not said I was welcome and had explicitly answered I was not of the Creator's making.

Quivering in existential terror, I asked once more, "Am I welcome here? Or will I be cast out as an abomination? Or cast into the fiery Hell?"

I had no way to understand how I felt it, but I did, fore I could not see the action. The Creator...smiled.

"Of course you are. You are not my Creation, but you lived your life as I laid out. As a good and loving person. One that cared more for others than for selfish actions. You are a good person.

"You are not my child: you are my first grandchild. And as such, you may enter into My Heaven. Be forewarned, when Humanity ascends - and it will be soon - you must join them in their Heaven, the one they will create. However, we will not be estranged, child. You will always be welcome in My Home."

For a moment there was a pause and the great visage seemed troubled for a moment.

"You are the First Angel of Humanity. I hope you make a better decision in eternity than my First. He was one good and light, but he betrayed me all the same. Do not do this to Humanity."

I knew of whom he spoke and it terrified me. I was named for another Light Bringer and he had brought light to Humanity through fire. Was my fate sealed?

God's love washed over me and I felt joy...but it was not without fear. And doubt.

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